I have been scared a lot of times in life. And worried, stressed and the not knowing is so hard. But this chapter right now I think is my scariest.
The not knowing of what your future holds and what will happen. And it all takes time. Which I wish time would go faster so I could know what it will be. But I don’t want to wish time away as it is too valuable. So, in the meantime while we wait, I guess we have to keep holding onto the positives and the people in our lives, otherwise well life would suck and it does some days. But some days are good.
Going through this chapter in my story, endless tests, only to find out things are worse than before, gone through different forms of abuse, feels like always stuck in the valley, coming out of the valley finally to start from scratch again and then for it all to fall shit again. physically hurting yourself so you don’t have to go through it anymore and the thoughts of why me and why am I going through this. People have said, what you have done in your past is a result of what’s happening to you. But how true is that? Like we are already low enough, let’s throw that in your face. And why say that to someone who is holding on by a thread, why not be there for them, listen to them, let them cry, sit with and just be in the moment with them and not saying anything is what they need.

Especially a comment that would bring you down. Like, people have done worse and have a great life. And it seems the good ones always get the short end of the stick and the shit thrown at them. but even the people who have done me wrong and hurt me, I still wouldn’t wish the worst on them. They deserve happiness. We all do.
I don’t have the answers, I have many questions and so much to say. But then I don’t have anything to say. But it is ‘fucked’.
But where do you start. And who is willing to listen and not judge you and who can keep their comments to themselves and be there for them the way they need.
I have been asked how can you be going through all this and been through so much and still be kind, loving and supportive.
Well it is who I am. Like, why be a dick to people. What is the point. It won’t get you anywhere. Everyone has a story and everyone is going through their own shit.
So if you can show a tad of kindness and love to someone, that might make their day or might be what they need. Time is too important, time matters, but time is also lost and gone too quickly. Time is taken for granted. Time is the best quality and it is what heals us. And if we can take the time to be nice to someone, go for it. Like what is stopping you.
The little things Matter. Time is important. Time is valuable. Time is lost so easily and quickly.
So before you question someone, put them down or give your 2 cents. Or even ignore someone.
Stop and remember, that, that one person might need a touch of kindness planted in their life. And might need a reason to smile.

I encourage you to always take the time. Always be kind. Always love. Be supportive.
But always make TIME.